Receiving

As women, most of us have been conditioned to take the role of giver in many aspects of our life – from work to child care to our sexual relationships. When we have little energy left but still push to give of ourselves to others it is often a draining process and on some level there is a longing to be the one receiving care.

The irony is that to be a really good giver, you need to be able to receive, to replenish your energy to be able to offer the gifts of what you give from a place of abundance. This is especially important when it comes to touch, intimacy, an sexuality. Fortunately receiving is something we can all learn to take in.

You can receive from others – such as a professional like a massage therapist, or from friends and lovers – as well as from yourself. Receiving does not need to be explicitly sexual, and can often feel easier if you are just beginning to give yourself permission to receive. And receiving sexually need not have a goal of orgasm, rather see if you can allow yourself to experience the sensations and feelings in your body in the moment.

This video offers an example of receiving a vulva massage. This is one (out of a million different ways) to receive.

Follow along as Nellie receives a vulva massage from Betty and shares the joys of receiving touch.Note that the intention of this vulva massage is not arousal and orgasm, rather it is connection and relaxation.

As mentioned, receiving is not only something to be experienced in relation to another person. You can also give to and receive from yourself. These can be simple things like taking time to draw a bath for yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of the warm water enveloping and holding you. You can give yourself a massage and notice the pleasure and calm that you can receive from your hands.

What are some other ways that you can think of to receive pleasure from someone else or from yourself?

Whatever you decide to explore, the important piece is to give yourself permission to take in the nourishment that is receiving.